


With Both Eyes Forward

by crimson_dragongem



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Gen, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Recovery, The Author Regrets Everything, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-04
Updated: 2019-05-04
Packaged: 2020-02-21 14:02:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18703768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crimson_dragongem/pseuds/crimson_dragongem
Summary: After Kannabi bridge, Obito wakes up in a hospital bed, with the painful memory of his teammate Kakashi being crushed by rocks when the cave collapsed on them.He still has vivid nightmares of that disastrous mission, ones where he’s the one being crushed instead.Survivor’s guilt, they tell him. It’s to be expected. At least he’s adapting well enough to the prosthetic eye.





	With Both Eyes Forward

**Author's Note:**

> Edited 05/05/2019
> 
> This concept slammed into my brain the other night while I was chatting with a friend, and before I knew it, I’d written 3/4 of it in our chat window.

After Kannabi bridge, Obito wakes up in a hospital bed, with the painful memory of his teammate Kakashi being crushed by rocks when the cave collapsed on them.

He still has vivid nightmares of that disastrous mission, ones where he’s the one being crushed instead.

Survivor’s guilt, they tell him. It’s to be expected. At least he’s adapting well enough to the prosthetic eye.

He dreams of Kakashi surviving in his place, and doesn’t know how to talk about it. It’s a bit comforting in a way, even if it’s not real. He stops telling Rin about them because he can’t stand the pitying look she gives him when he talks about them. He doesn’t know how to explain that this doesn’t feel like grief.

It’s not even a year later when he has a nightmare that shakes him to the core - he wakes screaming after plunging his crackling blue hand right into Rin’s heart. He immediately goes to check on her, and finds her safe at home, blinking at him sleepily and wondering what’s wrong because it’s like 3am.

Everyone is shocked and baffled to find that Obito has awoken the Mangekyo Sharingan. After much debate and grumbling, as well as the persistent insistence of his sensei, he grudgingly goes to seek answers from his clan. He finds none.

The nightmares persist. Every night he watches his teammate die at his hand. He wakes up gasping for air and screaming her name. Rin looks after him the best she can, reassuring him that she’s ok, that he hasn’t killed her, that he would never hurt her.

He comes to realize that it’s impossible for him to imagine ever being with her as anything more than teammates, even if she is one of his treasured precious people. He’s seen the life fade from her eyes too many times.

Minato and Kushina are terribly worried about him, but he insists he’s fine. The nightmares continue. Sometimes his Sharingan flares to life when he’s awake now, leaving him reeling and confused even in the middle of the day. Horrific visions, always the same in one aspect: he always sees himself killing someone, or someones, brutally, quickly, efficiently.

It takes him longer to realize and admit to anyone, even to himself, that it’s not getting better. Truth be told, if anything, he’s getting worse. 

He gets taken off active duty after a particularly bad episode during a training session. He’s forced to take a psych evaluation and fails it spectacularly. He tries to protest, but the words get caught in his throat when he’s sees the guilt and pain on his sensei’s face. An apologetic Minato tells him that he should have seen the signs earlier, that it’s his own fault he’s let Obito go on like this. It’s several months before he’s cleared to take even the most boring D-rank missions again. 

The war finally ends, and Minato is sworn in as the Yondaime Hokage. There’s a celebration in honour of the new Hokage and the peace treaty, and it feels like the whole village is partying. The day is warm and bright, and Obito finally feels like maybe there’s hope for the future. 

The worst setback is half a year later on October 10th, just a few years after Kannabi bridge. He dreams of an enraged Kyuubi no Kitsune appearing in the centre of town. He watches in horror as the fox destroys his beloved village. There are so many familiar faces in the carnage but he’s not strong enough, not fast enough to save them. He wakes up convinced that Minato-sensei and Kushina are dead, and panics when he finds their house empty. He’s too agitated to register that the rest of the village is still intact. He CAN’T lose Sensei and Kushina. He just CAN’T.  
  
He starts to run — somewhere. Maybe to the hokage’s office? He needs to find them, to make sure they’re okay and real. But when he turns he almost crashes straight into Rin. He hadn’t even noticed her arrival. Only his ninja reflexes keep him from avoiding the collision. He recovers himself quickly. Rin grabs his arm to keep him in place when he tries to bolt off. He stares at her uncomprehendingly, even as she’s talking to him. When he doesn’t answer her question, she tugs on his arm a few times until he finally manages to focus on what she’s saying.

Rin reminds him that Sensei and Kushina are out of the village. She pulls Obito to sit with her and wait on the front porch for the couple to arrive - they said they’d be back by lunchtime, remember?

He calms down somewhat, but he’s still caught unprepared by the flood of relief that hits him when he sees the grinning blonde hokage walking toward them, carrying a bundle in his arms and an exhausted looking Kushina next to him.

He doesn’t really process what’s happening, even as his Sensei rambles on and deposits the newborn baby into Obito’s arms and helps Kushina into the house. Rin gives him an amused look as she passes. He trails after them into the house.

Time flies, and he thinks he’s doing better. On nights without the nightmares, he sometimes hears a voice speaking to him in darkness, though he doesn’t remember what’s said when he wakes up. He’s wakes from those dreams with a feeling of immense sadness. It isn’t so bad, comparatively. He can manage this.

Between missions, training, babysitting baby Naruto, and being dragged to dinner several times a week with his team and Kushina, he’s kept busy. His promotion to jounin catches him by surprise, though everyone he speaks to swears he’s earned it. Minato offhandedly comments that now Obito can be Naruto’s jounin sensei when he graduates from the academy. Obito’s protests fall entirely on deaf ears. 

The nightmares haven’t stopped, and he still wakes gasping for air. But he’s going to be the next Hokage, and no nightmare is going to keep him from achieving that dream. 


End file.
